• from your favourite pair of blue jeansto playground tag, we count ten crazy things that have been banned around the world!15 – puns, • puns are play-on words, expressions withdouble meanings. they may inspire groans, but are ultimately harmless. puns commonlyform the basis of dad jokes, which everyone loves – or loves to hate.• enter the chinese government, aka the fun police. in 2014, the chinese governmentintroduced a ban on wordplay, specifically extending to all forms of media and advertising.• apparently, this measure was taken to protect the sanctity of the language and prevent‘cultural and linguistic chaos’. imagine if said chaos was allowed to ensue? the streetswould be plunged into permanent darkness.
building interiors would be charred and skeletal,and no one – no one! – would be able to understand one another because the only thingsleaving their mouths would be hilarious puns. • chinese language is particularly rifewith puns because there are so many homophones, which are words that sound the same but havedifferent meanings. • hysteria aside, critics have reasonedthe government’s move is more likely aimed at people who use puns and double entendresto get around censorship laws. so, if you use puns for good, instead of evil, you shouldbe okay. 14 – banned movies,• the world is full of different cultures, but there’s nothing more universally lovedthan a trip to the movies. unfortunately,
different countries have wildly differentsensitivities – one nation’s idea of humour can fail to translate, and offence can occurwhere none was intended. • for instance, scandinavia banned e.t.because they felt it would encourage their children to disobey adults. woody allen’sblue jasmine was banned in india because it contained a single scene of a man smoking.indonesia banned schindler’s list, a famous holocaust film, for being too sympatheticto the jewish cause, while burma banned the simpsons movie for its depiction of yellowskin. monty python’s life of brian was banned in norway for blasphemy, and the south parkmovie was banned in virtually all of asia and the middle east.• 2012, the cgi disaster film that also
had some real-life human actors in there somewhere,was banned in north korea for having the audacity to take place during the same year as formerleader kim il-sung’s centenary anniversary. north korean officials didn’t want tragedyto interfere with their celebrations (i guess it’s lucky the world didn’t actually endthen), and any citizens caught with bootlegs were arrested.• finally, a mention must go to claire danes, star of homeland. in 1998, danes shot a filmin manila. during a later interview, she described the city as ‘ghastly’ and ‘weird’,then went on to say it ‘smelled of cockroaches’, ‘had rats all over’ and was a ‘gianttoilet full of crazy people’. the filipino government subsequently declared her a ‘personanon grata’ and banned her films from being
shown in the city.13 – blue jeans, • during the cold war, jeans were highlysought after in eastern european countries and the ussr. today, jeans – specificallyblue ones – remain a symbol of democracy and capitalism, and are perceived as a threatto totalitarianism, especially in north korea. • north korea generally does its own thing,and is not all that interested in global politics or relations. in fact, the country is so suspiciousof the outside world that it is nicknamed ‘the hermit state’.• north korea’s government is known to oppose liberalism, and blue jeans – whichwere famously rocked by bruce springsteen on the cover of born in the usa – seem torepresent the nations’ ideological differences.
consequently, jeans are completely bannedin north korea. • however, the capital, pyongyang, has defiedthis stance, proving they aren’t completely anti-jean. a deal was recently struck witha swedish company to produce and export designer jeans. the jeans would cost average citizenstwo years’ wages, and they only come in black because blue denim is still considereda symbol of american imperialism. baby steps, guys.12 – emo culture, • in 2008, russia faced all sorts of outsidethreats: international reporters, chechen rebels, and emo bands like my chemical romance.these bands were blamed for the degradation of youth culture because they introduced theapathetic emo culture into russian society.
• in the face of a rising teen suicide rate,the russian government dubbed the music and fashion movement ‘a threat to national stability’.russia had figurative black eyeliner running down its cheek, perceiving that the country’svery future was at stake. • measures were taken to regulate all thingsemo, which included banning relevant websites and preventing citizens from wearing emo fashionin schools or government buildings. 11 – bear wrestling,• in the 19th century, bear wrestling was a popular french pastime that quickly madeits way to the united states. but it’s not some relic of the past, as cases of bear wrestlinghave been reported as recently as the 2000s. • this sport has been banned by the governmentsof over twenty us states, meaning any continuing
activity will have, by now, been forced underground.• fans of this outlandish banned sport should not despair. there are alternatives. for instance:you can always take on a bear in a round of professional hotdog-eating. hotdog-eatingchampion takeru kobayashi did this in 2003 – seriously.10 – frowning, • if you’re planning to visit milan anytime soon, make sure you pack your best smile. • the italian city has imposed a ban onfrowning. it is now a legal requirement to smile at all times. mercifully, there aretwo exceptions: during funerals and hospital visits.• sad sacks who dare disobey this rule are warned that they face serious fines.9 – dancing,
• in 1948, japan passed a law that banneddancing at public venues. citizens were only permitted to dance until midnight at properlylicensed clubs. • this ban was originally introduced asa means to cut out prostitution, which was linked to dancing establishments.• in recent years, police raids have actually been enforced to break up illegal dancing,and ‘no dancing’ signs have been posted in establishments across the country. thisno-dancing law has put a serious dampener on the country’s otherwise thriving electronicmusic industry. businesses suffered as club owners, not wanting to be charged with facilitatingany of that hip-shaking nonsense, were pressured into removing dance floors altogether.• in 2014 – yes, that recently – the
japanese government finally reneged, liftingthis ridiculous ban. it’s believed the forthcoming 2020 tokyo olympics played a large part inthis decision. • a new category of all-night dance clubswill now be introduced. however, there is a small caveat: the lighting in these venuesmust be brighter than 10lux, which is the amount of light produced by ten candles froma distance of three feet away. supposedly, this will discourage sketchy behavior. oh,japan. 8 – schoolyard fun,• schools have often been at the forefront of crazy bans, with overprotective adultsseeking to protect kids from all the perceived evils out there. unfortunately, protectionmeasures have gotten increasingly out of hand
as schooling environments – and societyat large – succumbs to political correctness. underestimating young people and dictatingwhat’s appropriate for them usually has disastrous results, but no one seems to havepicked up on this yet. • for example: because students were gettingtoo hurt at recess, a port washington middle school has banned all ball games and roughplay. this prohibits kids from playing football, soccer, baseball, lacrosse or rough tag. cartwheelsare only permitted if supervised by a coach. at this stage, cloud-watching is okay, butstay tuned for further developments. • a private school in london has bannedhaving best friends. the headmaster says the concept is possessive and ostracises thosewho aren’t included. i wonder what his take
on marriage is. i’m sure many feel ostracisedthat megan fox has excluded them from her union.• a preschool has urged parents to ban their kids from watching superhero movies. apparently,superhero stories invoke violence and instil questionable morals. so, wait – they haven’tbeen teaching us bravery and how to stand up for what’s right?• finally, several american schools have banned hugging and hand-holding. suspensionshave actually been issued over these offences. in fact, tennessee’s state senate recentlypassed a bill naming hand-holding as a gateway sexual activity. parents, don’t let yourkids get in on any of this sweet, hand-holding action.7 – western hairstyles,
• in a ridiculous bid sure to further culturaldivide, iran has banned what it defines as certain ‘western’ hairstyles. this measurewas taken to prevent the impending spread of decadent western culture.• to prevent exposure to depraved american and european culture, the iranian governmenthas issued a list of government-approved hairstyles. • banned ‘western’ styles include overlyspiked or gelled hair, the ponytail and the always-classy mullet. barbers who fail tocomply could be shut down or fined. • look, this is just absurd. without themullet, how is anyone going to recognise their area’s lower-class scumbags?6 – ketchup, • france is one of the food capitals ofthe world, and the french are renowned connoisseurs.
unfortunately, they’ve decided the all-americanketchup doesn’t fit into their nation’s grand culinary design.• the beloved condiment has been banned from all school and college cafeterias throughoutfrance in an effort to minimise students’ sugar consumption and protect the traditionalgallic cuisine. • kids are also not permitted to bring inketchup from home, as the french believe it drowns out other foods’ flavours.• however, one exception has been made: ketchup is permitted on french fries. if you'd like to read about 5 bonus dumb bannedthings, then visit the danger dolan website and the written version of this script, you'llfind links for it down below
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